The 10 Jewels of an Effective Counselor
Many people in the world today hold degrees or certifications in counseling. Some of these are professional degrees in the field of psychology while others are certifications obtained through a series of courses aimed at providing counseling techniques. Most of these classes and courses are based on techniques and methods that have been timed tested—dating back from Bible times.
Being an effective counselor, however, does not really come from manuals on counseling, or certifications, or degrees. Just because someone might claim to be a counselor that has been properly trained does not mean that person is an effective counselor. The most effective counselors are people who have been through what you’re going through - who have first hand experience and knowledge that is able to have a profound long-term impact on your situation. Those who are able to communicate effectively (listening effectively is part of this) empathizing on every level with your dilemma; and who are able teachers (who know the word of God and can handle it correctly) will be the most effective counselors at any given time, regardless of their academic preparation. Let us also not forget that God will guide you and present you with different people that you may learn from their experience as well, especially when it comes to being guided to Christ through one of God’s Gospel agents (Honest to goodness Christian). Let us consider what the Scriptures teach us on this important topic:
From one
man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and
he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should
live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him,
though he is not far from each one of us.
Act 17:26-27
All the
counsel you have received has only worn you out! Let your astrologers come
forward, those stargazers who make predictions month by month, let them save
you from what is coming upon you.
I counsel
you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white
clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on
your eyes, so you can see. (To the church
in Laodicea)
Who is
this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?
Blessed
is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way
of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
Psalm 1:1
(1 Cor 2:12-13) "We have not
received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may
understand what God has freely given us.
{13} This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in
words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual
words."
When I think of an effective Counselor I can only think of the Holy Spirit. He is The Counselor! He is the Teacher-Servant. The 10 qualities of an effective counselor we will examine represent 10 aspects of an adept teacher-servant:
And I
will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you
forever--
But the
Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach
you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
When the
Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth
who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me.
Notice Jesus says another Counselor. This means Jesus was a Counselor (parakletos) also (Isaiah 9:6). However, Jesus was not going to be with us anymore physically so He was going to leave us with someone just like Himself -- Himself in Spirit form!
(18) I will not leave you as orphans; I will come
to you. (19) Before long, the world will
not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.
(20) On that day you will realize that I
am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.
(Look at verse 18: “I will come to you”) Jesus is going to work with us from inside of us, reforming us from inside out (Titus 3:4-8). He is our advocate (counsel, assistant, helper, comforter) on Heaven and Earth.
(Titus 3:4-6 NIV) "But
when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, {5} he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but
because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, {6} whom he poured out on us generously
through Jesus Christ our Savior…
The
job of the Holy Spirit has always been to create since the beginning of the world. Now His job is to re-create you from the
inside out. He orders our life, causes
it to have a purpose, meaning, and causes it to make sense. He's good at it!
Let Him do it!
To be a counselor is to testify of Christ (John 15:26). I don't believe you can be a full-fledged "counselor" unless you exhibit in yourself our living and risen Savior--Jesus Christ!
Many mothers, fathers, ministers and other ordinary brothers and sisters who have not been formally trained in counseling are effective counselors because they possess these 10 jewels our Helper (the Holy Spirit) has. These people are:
I. Approachable
II. Available
III. Honest
IV. Sincere
V. Authoritative
VI. Assertive
VII. Graceful
VIII. Sacrificial
IX. Not Given to False Praise (Flattery)
X. Presentable
Are you an effective counselor? (Is your life a testimony to Jesus?)
Approachability
(Mat 11:28-30 NIV) ""Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. {29} Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. {30} For my
yoke is easy and my burden is light.""
(John 15:15 NIV) "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does
not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything
that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."
Jesus is very approachable! He offers Himself. He puts Himself out there. He reaches out. His countenance is inviting and he lends a hand and an ear to help the destitute. He clearly demonstrates the nature that we should strive to emulate.
Are you approachable? Are you inviting? Do people feel they can come up to you and speak with ease? Are you reflecting this quality of our Master? Or do people feel intimidated by you? Ask those who surround you to speak the truth freely and let yourself be molded by what the Holy Spirit will disclose! I believe that when you know and feel accepted by God because you understand His approachability, you yourself will emulate this quality!
(1
(Heb 4:16 NIV) "Let
us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive
mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Man's state of total transparency before a
sympathetic, though sinless, God ought to encourage man to come boldly before
Him, seeking mercy and grace. The word "boldly" is a translation of a
word that means "free utterance." This attitude of confidence to
speak freely before God may be contrasted with those who are ashamed at His
return (1
(1
(Eph 3:12 NIV)
"In him and through
faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence."
Availability
Jesus is very available. He was able to pace Himself so He could give everyone His time, within consideration. He was a great steward of His time and His money (resources)! His first priority was to serve the Father and do His work (John 4:3-4), even from the time He was a child!
(Luke 2:49-50 NIV) ""Why were you searching for me?" he
asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's
house?" {50} But they did
not understand what he was saying to them."
He always made time for everybody. He never appeared to be too busy to attend to the people. He was always among them:
(Mat 8:14-16) “When Jesus came into
Peter's house, he saw Peter's mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever. {15} He touched her hand and the fever
left her, and she got up and began to wait on him. {16} When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought
to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick.”
(Mat 14:14-16) "When Jesus
landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. {15} As evening
approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place,
and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the
villages and buy themselves some food."
{16} Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them
something to eat.""
(Mark 6:56) "And wherever he went--into villages,
towns or countryside--they placed the sick
in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his
cloak, and all who touched him were healed."
Honesty
& Sincerity (Genuineness)
Jesus always testifies on the side of truth (John 18:37). He stands on the side of truth and cannot lie; either about Himself or someone else. He will always give us an honest assessment and lead us onto the best path He knows. When we get frustrated with situations or events it is because we are failing to believe that God is going to work out the best possible scenario for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). He is honest with us and we need to reflect this jewel in our speech and life.
(Psa 139:23-24 NIV)
"Search me, O God, and
know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. {24} See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Hypocrisy is the total opposite of honesty. Those who live a double standard or hold others to a double standard are deceitful and full of trickery (James 1:5-8). Their father is the devil (John 8:44)! Integrity is a close cousin of honesty. Our honest dealings with each other not only promote unity but also increase the effectiveness of our relationship in Christ and the quality of intimacy.
1. Steadfast adherence
to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being
unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or
condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.
I see honesty as being able to tell the truth about yourself in the way you speak and live and sincerity as being able to be truthful with others--telling others the truth about themselves.
(Prov 27:9 NIV)
"Perfume and incense
bring joy to the heart; and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his
earnest (sincere) counsel."
Genuineness encompasses all these
qualities because genuineness has to do with character. A fragmented character (lack of integrity)
results from trying to be something or someone you are not. A fragmented character comes as a result of
being controlled and swayed by your circumstances or by others. Sometimes you
can be controlled by others if you believe their convictions as opposed to
having your own faith in Jesus. You sway
depending on where the waves are carrying you; you depend on opinions. You are unstable and double-minded. The purpose of trials and difficulties are
you test your integrity and genuineness in Christ – to test your faith (2Co 13:5;
Transparency, which develops as a result of being genuine, is the ability to desire openness; to be an open book, having nothing to hide in your mind or in your life. If you cannot be transparent, you cannot be genuine, nor honest or sincere for that matter. Transparency can be maintained by:
1- Becoming aware of the fruit of the sin in your life
a. Developing your own conviction from Scriptures
b. Having Self-awareness
c. Listening and accepting truthful advice from others
2- Confessing your awareness of sin in your life to your mentor and others
a. Praying and exposing your sin to the Lord
b. Earnestly desiring change and begging the Father to help you (Heb 5:7)
Pro 28:13-14
(13) Whoever conceals
his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them
will obtain mercy.
(14) Blessed is the one
who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into
calamity.
3-
Seeking advice on how to eliminate the pattern
of thinking that leads to sin (Remember it begins in the mind:
4- Reporting on your progress of these things voluntarily
5- Sensitizing yourself (becoming more sensitive) to the slightest presence on any kind of thinking or behavior that will produce in you sinful fruit.
(James 1:2-9 NIV)
"Consider it pure joy,
my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, {3} because you know that the testing of your faith develops
perseverance. {4} Perseverance must
finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. {5} If any of you lacks wisdom, he
should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will
be given to him. {6} But when he
asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of
the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
{7} That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; {8} he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
“In this chapter is found the classic example of
the biblical distinction between "trial" and "temptation."
"Trials" in v. 2 comes from peirasmos
(Gk.), which often means a "fiery trial" or a "proving,"
tests which are for the purpose of building fortitude in the believer. The word
translated "perfect" (teleios,
Gk., v. 4) means the "end" or "completeness" of a process
or thing. The trials are designed to bring about spiritual maturity and
completeness in the believer (v. 3). In vv. 12-14, James makes it clear that
God never takes the initiative in "tempting" men. The general
biblical teaching on this distinction is that whereas God allows men to be
tested, He cannot by His very nature test men with evil intent (v. 13). Clearly
when men are tempted to do evil, it is the consequence of yielding to Satan's
enticements because of their own fallen sinful natures (cf. Eph. 2:1-3).”---Believer’s Study Bible
Much more can be said about the importance of being genuine. The great servants of God distinguished themselves because of their genuineness before God and men. They didn’t pretend to be anyone or anything else but themselves by recognizing the gifts and tools God had given to them to do His will.
(Exo 4:1-5 NIV)
"Moses answered,
"What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not
appear to you'?" {2} Then the
LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?" "A staff,"
he replied. {3} The LORD said,
"Throw it on the ground." Moses threw it on the ground and it became
a snake, and he ran from it. {4} Then
the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail."
So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff
in his hand. {5} "This,"
said the LORD, "is so that they may believe that the LORD, the God of
their fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has
appeared to you.""
God worked with whatever Moses had in his hand. David worked with the sling he had in his hand, God has equipped you with all you need to do His will. Believe Him!
Don’t let the devil allow you to sell yourself short by thinking you have to be like someone else or that you need something you don’t have to be able to serve him. Ask yourself, “what has He given me?” And use it!
Authoritative
There’s a difference between being authoritative and an authoritarian. My step-dad was authoritative, my dad was authoritarian. My step-dad always had an impression on me because he demanded accountability and exacted purity and integrity in every move. What always got to me was the fact that he was beyond reproach. That always made the message sink in. As I have grown older I have developed high respect for my dad out of love. He always made me think about God by the way he approached things. My dad, on the other hand, was an authoritarian. Oh I feared him all right, just because of his strong personality, not necessarily because of his integrity. As a matter of fact I was always able to see through my dads intentions because they always seemed kind of selfish and boastful. I didn’t hold him in the same place as my step-father. My dad was unpredictable, had to be handled with care. My step-dad was very predictable and you could always count on him giving you a practical solution for your problem. He always made it easy for me to make decisions that I know would please him.
A person who is authoritative is regarded as such because of how he holds himself accountable. Being authoritative doesn’t have to do with your personality. It has to do with how you say things and what you do. It has to do with making a commitment to being truthful, faithful and just. Since an authoritative person demands the best from himself, he will automatically expect and exact holy demands from others, due to his genuineness with God. The man who is authoritative is respected because he does what he says. He does it, and then he says it. An example of this is discussed in the following passage:
(Mat
6:2-4 NIV) ""So
when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on
the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received
their reward in full. {3} But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand
know what your right hand is doing,
{4} so that your giving may be in secret. Then your
Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
What
Jesus is telling us here is that we should not pre-plan certain things that
need to be handled without prejudice or assumption, but rather act upon each
situation with genuineness, from the heart, not hypocritically. The giving of alms with the right and left
hand expresses the subtlety and resolution of the matter. You do it skillfully and you conceal it as
much as possible; keeping it private. Do
it because it is a good work, not because it will give you a good name. Don't observe it (think about it) too
much. Put it out of your mind quickly,
lest you may be filled with pride and self-complacency.
An authoritative person always seeks to give mercy because he recognizes the need to grow and mature himself. The authoritarian demands justice at his hands; his way. The difference between both of these is also illustrated in this trite comparison between a “boss” (authoritarian) and a “leader” (authoritative):
A boss
creates fear, a leader confidence.
A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes.
A boss knows all, a leader asks questions.
A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.
A boss is interested in himself or herself,
a leader is interested in the group.
--
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to articulate exactly what you want and how you feel about something. The ability to be assertive has to do with how you view yourself (self-confidence). Some can be assertive because they take pride in themselves; in their way of thinking or in their lifestyle. They are obsessed with themselves:
(Psa 10:2-7 NIV)
"In his arrogance the
wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises. {3} He boasts of the cravings of his
heart; he blesses the greedy and reviles the LORD. {4} In his pride the
wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. {5} His ways are always prosperous; he
is haughty and your laws are far from him; he sneers at all his enemies. {6} He says to himself, "Nothing
will shake me; I'll always be happy and never have trouble." {7} His mouth is full of curses and
lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue."
If your spiritual-self concept relies on the fact that you have been redeemed by God and you are His alone, then your assertiveness shows through your humility and not through boasting and self-proclamation (adulation):
(Prov 29:23 NIV)
"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of
lowly spirit gains honor."
The assertive man teaches with conviction because he knows he is speaking the very words of God, words that he holds dearly in his heart, words that do not allow compromise. That is why he doesn’t argue and is not open to debating God’s words. He doesn’t even allow himself to get caught with the shallow “let’s agree to disagree” philosophy. The assertive man has no need to force his arguments or use a forceful tone of voice because he knows God’s words are powerful. He is absolutely sure of what he teaches because he has examined and studied the Scriptures and holds God’s words in his heart. He does not accept any person’s interpretation or conviction until it has become his own. The assertive person can be assertive because his faith is his own.
(2 Tim 2:15 NIV)
"Do your best to present
yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be
ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."
(1 Pet 3:15-16 NIV)
"But in your hearts set
apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give
the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness
and respect, {16} keeping a
clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good
behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."
Your
profession of faith needs to be from a solid conviction that has been firmly
decided and planted in your heart. I
usually set aside a part of my heart for some dream that I have, or something
that I'm looking forward to accomplish.
However, all the more I need to do this in my heart for the purpose of
knowing the gospel and preparing myself to be able to deliver it with
confidence--as someone who knows what he's talking about and who confidently
speaks of the hope I have within.
Assertiveness has to do with these 4 things, as the previous
two verses we looked at indicate:
Gracefulness
Gracefulness in a counselor reflects a non-judgmental character. The graceful teacher allows for failure, and has even thought about it and planned how he’s going to react to it and how much grace he has allotted the person.
(Mat
18:23-35 NIV) ""Therefore,
the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with
his servants. {24} As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand
talents was brought to him. {25} Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and
his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. {26} "The
servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I
will pay back everything.' {27} The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
{28} "But when that servant went out, he found
one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and
began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. {29} "His
fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I
will pay you back.' {30} "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the
man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. {31} When the other servants saw what had
happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master
everything that had happened. {32}
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You
wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all
that debt of yours because you
begged me to. {33} Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I
had on you?' {34} In anger his master turned him over
to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. {35} "This
is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your
brother from your heart.""
Since the graceful man knows how God makes him look better than what he really is, this type of man is always on the lookout to point out how the person has grown and can grow spiritually. The graceful man is not about fault finding, but grace reminding! He is willing to compromise his own taste/choices to be at peace and unified with his brothers, because he looks out for them. He accommodates for other’s imperfections and sacrifices pettiness to enhance the good qualities he sees in people. In doing this, he teaches others to say “no” to ungodliness by his gracious example (Titus 2:11-12).
(Luke
17:3-4 NIV) "So
watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents,
forgive him. {4} If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times
comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him.""
The graceful man is very reflective. He is an observer and waits until someone has spoken to talk or take action. He does not delight in airing his own opinion, but patiently listens to others and guides them by example. He guides them by how he lives his life. Speaking after having established an example by doing will always be more powerful than just speaking alone.
(Prov 18:2 NIV)
"A fool finds no
pleasure in understanding but delights in
airing his own opinions."
Sacrifice
A servant and counselor is a sacrificial person. He has to be others centered in order to allow God to work through him. He’s on the lookout to make a difference in other people’s lives; yet he does it unconsciously! He doesn’t need to tell himself, “Oh yeah, that’s right, I have to be a servant!” He is one by heart and nature. In order to do that you must have adopted the other jewels as part of your character make-up already!
(Mat
20:1-15 NIV) ""For
the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to
hire men to work in his vineyard.
{2} He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day
and sent them into his vineyard.
{3} "About the third hour he went out and saw
others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. {4} He told them, 'You also go and work in
my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.' {5} So they went. "He went out again
about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. {6} About the
eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked
them, 'Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?' {7} "'Because
no one has hired us,' they answered. "He said to them, 'You also go and
work in my vineyard.' {8} "When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to
his foreman, 'Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the
last ones hired and going on to the first.' {9} "The workers who were hired about
the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. {10} So when those came who were hired
first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a
denarius. {11} When they received it, they began to grumble against the
landowner. {12} 'These men who were hired last worked only one hour,' they
said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work
and the heat of the day.' {13} "But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being
unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? {14} Take your
pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. {15} Don't I
have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because
I am generous?'"
Sacrificial people don’t grumble! They obey the Master’s orders and have this attitude:
(Luke
17:7-10 NIV) ""Suppose
one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to
the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to
eat'? {8} Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself
ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? {9} Would he
thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? {10} So you
also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done
our duty.'""
The life of being a servant is
the most prestigious in the
(Mat
20:25-28 NIV) "Jesus called them
together and said, "You know that the rulers of
the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority
over them. {26} Not so with you. Instead,
whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, {27} and
whoever wants to be first must be your slave-- {28} just as the Son of Man did not come
to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for
many.""
Look what Jesus called Himself, and examine the cost of obeying God! It is a high calling! Do we need to remind ourselves over and over the cost of following Jesus?
(Luke
14:26-27 NIV) ""If
anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and
children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my
disciple. {27} And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me
cannot be my disciple."
In
order for me to be in Jesus, I must forsake everything and anything that has to
do with my former life. Beliefs or
mannerisms learned from both father and mother, wife, kids or those formulated
on my own! I must renounce my former
learning, my former ideas and submit only to Jesus' commands. Submerge myself
in His love, essence, ideology and vision.
I
must also decide and force myself to carry my cross. My cross is my instrument of death. Whatever it is in me that prevents me
or discourages me from wanting to do or be in Jesus I have to put to death. I need to forsake anything outside of me
that for a moment might distract me from my service to the Lord. Anything that would make me think or pray not
to happen in my life (because I may find it inconvenient or uncomfortable) that
I know is in opposition to the Lord’s will I need to put to death. Anything that I may know is the Father's will
yet makes me ask the Lord for an alternative solution I need to put to death,
that is, overcome it with life in the Lord.
I must take up that cross and carry it boldly to the glory of God
especially because I don't want to do it.
This jewel really encompasses the heart of a disciple. The heart of the bride of Jesus and of the groom Himself! He forsook it all to redeem us! He embodies sacrificial love!
This jewel proceeds from genuineness of character. A good counselor will not seek to please the people he loves by just making them feel good about themselves through empty praise. He is a truth-builder; building on true qualities of people. He is a seeker and a refiner, like His Lord (Mal 3:2), in search of those rough stones that can be used to build:
(Prov 20:5 NIV) "The
purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out."
Sometimes we cannot see the gifts God has given us to build His church, but a man of understanding can help us find and use these gifts for the glory of God. This man needs to have eyes filled with the light of grace to see blessing and not fault in those he loves:
(Mat
6:21-24 NIV) "For
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. {22} "The
eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes
are good, your whole body will be full of light. {23} But if your eyes are
bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! {24} "No one
can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he
will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and
Money."
If
your heart is on "things"
rather than on God, you will not rest.
You will be anxious. Hence vs. 25
ff., “Do not worry…” I need to make sure
that what my eyes see is always for the good of others, not for my own. Eyes that are positive, My Father's Eyes. Don't serve your property. Don't care for it, because it is not yours
anyway – the Lord has given and He will take away. Serve your brothers and sisters. Have eyes that are filled with light to look
to build up and edify with truth, not false praise or flattery. False praise is empty. Whoever looks to build on emptiness is busy
building for himself and his house will burn up!
(Jude 1:12 NIV)
"These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you
without the slightest qualm--shepherds who feed only themselves. They are
clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees,
without fruit and uprooted--twice dead."
(1 Cor 3:12-13 NIV) "If
any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, {13} his work will be
shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed
with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work."
Words loose value when they are empty because they produce false hope. Give true hope and dedicate yourself to building with gold, silver and costly stones! You need to be selfless to accomplish that!
Presentability
As ambassadors and counselors in Christ we also will impact with our image. Image is more than what you and I look like from a physical point of view. Our image is largely affected by our attitude. Presentability is about attitude. How do you approach challenges? How do you deal with trials? How do you affect others in these circumstances? Are you an avoider or a confronter? Are you re-active or pro-active? Do you tend to become a burden to others or do others seek you to lean on? Are you high or low maintenance? Attitude determines your presentability. Projecting a positive image and putting positive spins on everything you touch and say will certainly distinguish you in this age of bitterness, complaining and tearing down. Maintaining your integrity and your self-respect by proper presentability will distinguish you in this age of compromise materialism and victimization. Being responsible and holding others accountable will command respect for you in this age of selfishness and “looking out for number one” attitudes. And yes, the way you present yourself on the outside does tell others what you think about yourself. Let the inside, though; command what is seen on the outside. Don’t be like the Pharisees!
(Mat
23:25-28 NIV) ""Woe
to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full
of greed and self-indulgence. {26}
Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and
dish, and then the outside also will be clean. {27} "Woe
to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like
whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are
full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. {28} In the same way, on the outside you
appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and
wickedness."
You can apply this in both the physical and spiritual sense. Don’t put up a front. Be genuine, be presentable. Radical clothes, or hair styles or body tattoos or piercing just call attention to your heart, not your soul and your love for Christ. Shirts with alcohol commercials or brand-name advertisements just say things about your heart, not your soul. And where, friend, is your heart? Is it here in the world, or is it in Heaven? Be careful what you advertise by what you say, do, wear and drive. Look at Jesus and see if there were any advertisements about anything other than His dedication, passion and commitment to obeying the Father and to loving you.
A COMPASSIONATE COUNSELOR
by Neil Anderson
But go and learn what this means, "I desire
compassion, and not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13).
I ask my students two questions:
The essential prerequisite for a Christian counselor is to become the
kind of person with whom others feel confident in sharing the problems of their
present and past. Christian counseling
doesn't require a college degree, although those who counsel professionally can
be greatly helped by receiving Bible-based training.
Whether you sit on the platform or in the pew, whether you sit at a desk
in a counseling clinic or at a dining room table, God can use you to minister
to people with problems if you are compassionate. You can't really help a person unless you
hear his whole story, and you won't hear it unless you are the kind of person
he can trust.
People don't care how much we know until they know how much we care. Compassion is not a question of learning a
professional technique; it's a question of Christian character and love.
Counseling seeks to help people deal with the present by resolving
conflicts from the past. Many of these
conflicts relate to areas of bondage where Satan-induced strongholds have been
erected in the mind. People cannot grow
and mature because they are not free.
The goal of Christian counseling--whether done by a minister, a
professional counselor, or a friend--is to help people experience freedom in
Christ so they can move on to maturity and fruitfulness in their walk with
Him.
Lord, increase my
compassion so I can be an effective counselor of others. Keep me from jumping to self-righteous
conclusions.